Premature Ejaculation is a common problem for many men. It can strike at any age. Sometimes the reasons for developing it can be unclear, but there are ways to help treat and prevent it.
If you suffer from premature ejaculation, what can you do? First of all, do not panic. You are not alone. There are many tried and trusted methods for treating premature ejaculation. From identifying the cause to finding a solution – you can get over it. Almost 30% of men suffer from this condition at some stage in their life.
In this article we will look at some of common causes of premature ejaculation and see what is on offer to help you overcome this stressful and often depressing condition.
What is premature ejaculation?
Premature ejaculation is when a man ejaculates too quickly during (or sometimes before) sexual intercourse. This can lead to feelings of depression or stress about his sexual performance. Unless resolved, it could lead to further anxiety and disappointment in the bedroom. Thankfully it can normally be treated with some planning and little effort.
What causes premature ejaculation?
Below is a list of the common causes of premature ejaculation.
- prostate problems
- thyroid problems
- recreational drugs (including cannabis)
- stress & anxiety
- relationship problems
- sexual performance anxiety
The prostate gland is a small ‘walnut’ shaped organ located around the neck of the bladder in men. It works to release some of the fluids found in semen. Problems can arise when the prostate increases in size – causing pressure to build up on the urethra (the tube urine and semen travel through to your penis). This can restrict the flow of fluids.
If you notice a difference in the flow rate of your urine, you should go see your GP and have some tests done. Keep in mind that some treatments for prostate enlargement can cause other problems, including issues achieving an erection. Make sure you discuss all possible outcomes with your GP.
In a study carried out by the Dokuz Eylul University School of Medicine in Turkey, it was noted that a very high percentage of men developed premature ejaculation problems when diagnosed with hyperthyroidism.
Hyperthyroidism is a condition where the thyroid gland produces more thyroid hormones than are needed by the body. It is normally a treatable condition that can be diagnosed and treated by your local GP.
Recreational Drugs (including cannabis)
There has been much debate over the years about the effect of drugs on sexual health. What is clear though is that there are proven links between recreational drugs and erectile problems. Cannabis is known as one of the biggest causes of premature ejaculation in men.
Anything that interferes with the link between your brain and your body can only result in one of two outcomes: you being in control or out of control. If you are not in control of your bodily functions, how can you ever expect to control your sexual functions?
Tests have shown that men who use marijuana daily are three times more likely to experience premature ejaculation, than men who do not use it or don’t use it regularly. If that doesn’t stop you smoking it, nothing will!
Many men believe smoking marijuana will help delay their time to orgasm, but his has been proven not to be the case. If in doubt, put it out.
Smoking in general is bad for your health. Smoking tobacco has been linked to poor circulation and erectile dysfunction. The day you quit smoking is the best day of your life.
Depression is a difficult and often completely debilitating illness. How we feel about ourselves and the world around us can create a plethora of mental and physical problems – including premature ejaculation.
Sometimes we do not even realise that we are in a state of depression until it has really taken hold of us. Friends and family are usually the first to notice when it has gone too far. Mood swings, anger and emotional outbursts are clear signs that something is wrong… and you need help.
Talking is one the best methods of dealing with depression. Whether that be with a friend of professional, it’s important to start now. Do not be fooled into thinking you can deal with it on your own – the chances are you can’t. Better to rise to the challenge and get some help. Start talking about your feelings and make plans to beat the depression.
When the world seems like a happier place, it’s amazing how activities like sex become more enjoyable. And with that can come a release of stress. This new stress-free you will hopefully notice that your premature ejaculation problem has started to go away.
Stress & Anxiety
Just as with depression, stress and anxiety can have incredibly adverse effects on our minds and bodies.
Stress and anxiety require us to find coping and release mechanisms to help us deal with them. Getting to the root of the issues is key to removing them. Talking to a friend or professional can really help us de-clutter our thinking and get to the heart of things.
If you don’t already, get some exercise. It doesn’t have to be anything too strenuous or membership based. A regular walk outside in the fresh air will make a massive difference to your feelings of stress.
I tend to go for long walks with one of my close friends. We talk about EVERYTHING. Nothing is off limits. It’s a great way to get things off my chest and put the world to rights.
The added bonus of all the walking is the effect on my waistline. I look better, feel better and all that fresh air really gets me ready for a night of passion between the sheets. So get out there and take back control of your body and mind! Your partner will thank you for it.
There really is no such thing as an easy relationship. Even couples who appear to have it all have their own hidden issues. Living with someone is hard work. It’s a lifetime of compromise and understanding. It is also a lifetime of respecting each others thoughts, opinion and boundaries – and that’s usually where most relationships go wrong.
There is a horrible trend for separated couples to publicly put down their ex-partners bedtime skills. This is not good for either of them and can lead to one or both becoming stressed or depressed – both common causes for conditions such as premature ejaculation in men or sexual anxiety in women.
The majority of people don’t really want to get involved in couples relationship breakdowns – except for lawyers and the few individuals who enjoy watching others suffer.
If your relationship is suffering, it’s time to start talking. Seek out a professional couples therapist or counsellor and let it all out. Who knows? The whole experience may rekindle the love you once had for each other.
If however, the relationship breakdown has gone too far, let it go. Trying to hold onto something that is completely broken is not good for either of you – or any loved ones involved. Better to part ways and restart your lives on new paths.
Sexual Performance Anxiety
Anxiety around he we are ‘supposed’ to perform in bed can lead to premature ejaculation. We are all exposed to stories of great lovers who took their partners to bed and made love passionately to them all night. In reality, these are extremely rare cases (and usually found in adult fairy tales!).
Pornography plays a large part in sexual performance anxiety too. We see these well endowed men going at it for hours and think to ourselves ‘How am i supposed to compete with that?’
Well you don’t have to. As we wrote in our article Does Penis Size Matter?, pornography is not based on real life. Scenes are shot over multiple periods and stitched together. We need to learn to filter out pornography and concentrate instead what what you (you and your partner) need from your sexual relationship.
What natural treatments are available for premature ejaculation?
There can be many factors resulting in you developing premature ejaculation. Finding the right treatment depends on finding the source of the problem. Once the cause has been identified though, treatment can usually begin.
Wearing a condom
This might sound too simple a fix, but in many cases it works. Wearing a condom helps reduce the friction between your penis and your partner. Many condoms are now available with a coating that numbs the penis, thus decreasing sensitivity, allowing for longer periods of intercourse.
Masturbating to ejaculation an hour or so before having sex has been shown to delay orgasm the second time round. This is a popular technique, but hard to do if you haven’t planned to have sex later.
Sex isn’t just about penetration. Foreplay can bring you even more pleasure than actual intercourse. Learning how to please each other by using your hands, tongues and bodies can be a fantastic intimate experience. Brush up on your foreplay bedroom skills and bring a while new level of excitement to your bedroom. And if the mood takes you afterwards, by all means enjoy full sex.
The Pause & Squeeze Method
This very successful method involves the cooperation of your partner. Begin by having sex as normal – but this time, as you feel the beginnings of an orgasm – remove your penis and have you or your partner gently squeeze the penis, on the shaft just below the head. Hold in this position until the feeling has subsided. You can then continue having sex. This method can be repeated as many times as you wish
Although there are medical methods available to overcome premature ejaculation, they are often not without their side effects. Do some research before you commit to any medication. In some cases premature ejaculation has been cured, only to be replaced by Erectile Dysfunction (the inability to have or maintain an erection).
Unless you have a diagnosed physical problem, talking to someone about your problems is still one of the best ways to get rid of your premature ejaculation problem.